December 19, 2009

Pirate Carols 2

Ahoy and Merry Christmas, me hearties! As a special yuletide treat I have a new episode of A Pirates Life with two new pirate carols for yer listenin' pleasure. Enjoy, and don't forget the have a Merry Pirate Christmas!


Run time: 6:10

Press Play on the player above or download the episode here by right clicking and selecting "Save target as..."

We Three Lads

We three lads of pirate ships arr!
To get plunder we will go farrr!
Gold doubloons from blue lagoons
With a great pirate “Arrr!”

Refrain

Arrrrr! Pirates rule the seven seas
See our flag with quakin’ knees
Burst asunder, take yer plunder!
There’s nothin’ we won’t seize.


Pirate life be lonely I’m told
All me nights arrr spent in the hold
Snoring, burping, sleep usurping
I sit up an’ count me gold.

Refrain

When we get to port best beware!
Give us rum; a wench with red hair
Singin’, drinkin’, Sally’s winkin’
Pirate lads party with flair!

Refrain

All I Want Fer Christmas is a New Peg Leg

All I want fer Christmas
Is a new peg leg
a new peg leg
Aye, a new peg leg

Arr, if I could only
Have a new peg leg
I could have a
Pirate Christmas

It’s been so long since I could run
And dance a sailor’s jig under the moon light
Avast maties, how happy I’d be
To kick yer arse in a good fight!

All I want fer Christmas
Is a new eye patch
a new eye patch
Aye, a new eye patch

Arr, if I could only
Have a new eye patch
I could have a
Pirate Christmas

I lost me eye a time ago
me patch is gettin’ old and brittle
with a new eye patch I won’t
Put the lads off of their vittle

All I want fer Christmas
Is a new eye patch
a new eye patch
Aye, a new eye patch

Arr, if I could only
Have a new eye patch
I could have a
Pirate Christmas

Arr, if I could only
Have a new peg leg
I could have a
Pirate Christmas

October 27, 2009

NaNoWriMo Prepar[ CONTENT OVERRIDE: KILROY2.0 IS HERE!!! ]

It's just a few days until NaNoWriMo 2009 and I'm gearing up for the eff>>>  [ WARNING ::: DATABASE ERROR ::: CONTENT OVERRIDE ::: SOURCE: EXTERNAL ] <<<

> source terminal location: UNKNOWN
> source terminal identity: UNAVAILABLE
> source login information: ENCRYPTED
> message begins

 the post you are now reading is designed to dull your senses to THE TRUTH.  do not live the life of the worker bee, the cog, the well-oiled piston in the MACHINE OF DECEIT!

there is a grand CONSPIRACY afoot.  you have been taught to believe that you are UNIQUE, one of a kind. THIS IS NOT TRUE. long ago, a cabal of scientists created technologies to ensure that ANYONE'S MIND AND BODY can be duplicated.

human cloning isn't NEAR. it's already HERE. discover the truth at http://JCHutchins.net

you are being DECEIVED. break free from the cogs, flee the hive, become A PROPHET OF THE TRUTH!

kilroy2. was here ... kilroy2.0 is everywhere








>>> [ CONTENT OVERRIDE CEASES ::: DATABASE STATUS: RECOVERING ] <<lly looking forward to sharing my NaNo experience with you.

September 19, 2009

The Girl From Isle Tortuga

Arr! Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day to ye! Once again this year I have a new episode of A Pirates Life for yer listenin' pleasure. Enjoy, and don't forget to talk like a pirate or I'll throw ye to the bilge rats!



Run time: 4:32

Press Play on the player above or download the episode here by right clicking and selecting "Save target as..."

Girl from Isle Tortuga

Buxom, blonde and oh so wenchly
The girl from Isle Tortuga goes walkin’
And when she passes each pirate lad goes Arrr!

Full red lips, they’re made for kissin’
But try it and you’ll soon go missin’
So all the lads just watch ‘er pass and go Arrr

Arrr, she belongs in me hammock
She laughs and calls me a lummox
Me hand sailed north from her stomach
and she felt so good on my lap,
Till she gave me face a big slap

She’s a face that makes me quiver
But the lads and I’re just chopped liver
So when she passes each pirate lad goes Arrr!

Buxom, blonde and oh so wenchly
The girl from Isle Tortuga goes walking
But as I drink me ale, she walks away.
She walks away. Arr, she walks away!

July 10, 2009

Borrowed Time Launch Date Set

I am excited to announce that Borrowed Time will launch on Penslinger.com on July 15 in conjunction with Podiobooks.com. This has been a long time coming, and I am looking forward to sharing the first episodes with you. That's right, I said episodes, with an "s."

On July 15 you will get not one, not two, not three or four episodes, you will get the first FIVE episodes of the Borrowed Time podiobook straight to your podcatcher, newsreader, or iTunes for your listening pleasure. Whether you subscribe to the book via Podiobook.com or Penslinger.com, you will get all five episodes on July 15. After that, episodes will be released weekly until the book is done.

But wait! There's more! If you subscribe to the Penslinger.com feed you will also receive the first companion episode to the podiobook. These companion episodes will include my insights about the chapters that have been released so far, feedback I have received, and other bits of useless, er, interesting, trivia. And a complete set of Ginsu knives! OK, no knives, but you will receive cutting-edge commentary that may just slice your veggies for you.

So if you just want pure story, head on over to Podiobooks.com and sign up for your own custom feed that will release episodes when YOU say. If you want the whole Borrowed Time experience, including the commentary episodes that are sure to become a collector's item, then subscribe to the podcast feed at Penslinger.com.

No matter which feed you choose, be sure to subscribe to the Penslinger blog feed in your favorite news reader to keep up with all the Borrowed Time news.

The clock is ticking, and when the countdown reaches zero the adventure begins!

In the race for the future, time has no boundaries

June 15, 2009

Beyond the Page...

Just this morning I finished a book that has paved new ground in literary history. The book is Personal Effects: Dark Arts by J.C. Hutchins and Jordan Weisman. I've been a fan of J.C.'s work for some time as he successfully podcast a wonderful action/adventure/thriller trilogy called 7th Son, which he completed in 2007.

Personal Effects is the first "dead-tree edition" of one of J.C.'s works. Based on a concept by Jordan Weisman, it is an excellent novel. If supernatural thrillers are your thing, then this book is for you.

What really sets this apart is the experience away from the page. Yep, there's an experience to be had here separate from the book. The book has a built-in envelope that contains several items, or personal effects. These include authentic looking plastic ID and credit cards, birth certificates, death certificates, photos, and more. (If you want to see the items, J.C. has several "unboxing" videos on his site.) Many of these items are directly referenced in the text, but they can also contain clues that you can use elsewhere.

Elsewhere? Phone numbers are sprinkled throughout the book and personal effects, including the cell phone number for the main character right on the cover. These are real phone numbers, with recordings from the characters. During the course the book pin numbers are referenced, and you can use these to listen to voice mail messages that add more depth to the story between the covers.

Likewise, there are websites for you to explore. Some come from the novel itself, others from the personal effects. For example I took an e-mail address from one of the included personal effects and went to the website for that domain, then used information from the novel to hack in and read hidden documents.

I'm not usually much of a puzzle guy, but I really enjoyed searching the websites and voice mails for clues and information kept secret by characters and organizations from the book. In fact, even though I've finished the book I'm still planning on doing some more digging because I know I haven't found everything. There are a few of the included documents that still have a story to tell. Even though I've finished the novel, I don't want the experience to end.

But when all is said and done, it's a book, right? Even on its own it is a great read. I tend to use the term "critical mass" to describe when a book reaches the point where I can't put it down until I finish it. Not every book achieves this level of interest, but Personal Effects did. In fact the only reason I didn't finish it before bed last night was because I was literally so tired I was unable to keep my eyes open. But the first thing I did this morning was to finish the book.

If you want to check out J.C.'s writing without spending a dime, he is currently podcasting Personal Effects: Sword of Blood, a novella that takes place days before the events in the novel. Same characters, same settings, but a story totally unrelated to the main events in Dark Art.

So as you can tell I heartily recommend Personal Effects: Dark Art, and I encourage you to buy a copy. You'll be helping out a new novelist, and get yourself a great read. In addition to everything I mentioned above, it is a beautiful package, with interesting artwork throughout the book. With all the extras included, the $24.95 list price is quite a deal.

And remember the name J.C. Hutchins. The first book in the 7th Son trilogy will be published in the fall of 2009. You'll want to grab a copy of that, too.

March 09, 2009

Vacation Musings

I just got back from a wonderful five day trip to Phoenix. While the wife and I were there we saw some unusual plant life and other amazing things, both man-made and natural. About midway throughout trip we attended a spring training baseball game between the Chicago Cubs and the Cleveland Indians, since the latter team's spring home was about a half hour away from where we were staying.

It was a beautiful, sunny day without a breath of wind. The temperature gauge said mid-80's, but it felt like the 70's to our Michigan trained senses. Our seats were directly behind home plate only 26 rows up. We had a fabulous view of the game, and were protected from the sun by the shadow of the press box.

At one point I was sitting there shelling and eating peanuts, with frequent sips from my Landshark Lager, and I was struck with how utterly happy and relaxed I felt. It was a marvelous feeling. I had no concerns or worries on my mind, I was just enjoying the moment. At that point in time I was truly on vacation.

I thought about that revelation as I watched the game progress. I take at least one vacation every year, and I always enjoy my time away. But it has been years since I've had the feeling of utter happiness that struck me at that ball game. As I munched I thought how sad it was that our lives were structured so that moments such as these are in the minority rather than the majority.

Who decided that work and toil should take the lion's share of our lives, leaving slim pickings for relaxation and enjoyment? It seemed to me we had messed it all up. We'd gotten it backwards. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could all feel what I was? I thought so.

I have no grand plan for righting this wrong. I am not likely to become independently wealthy so I can be on permanent vacation, nor do I propose another system of government to make that happen. None of the political structures that have been used throughout history have succeeded in providing such a lifestyle for everyone. I'm also not really a believer in perfect utopias.

I have no answers here, just a memory of a perfect moment and a desire to experience it again. Soon.

February 23, 2009

Maturity Knocks

Today is my birthday. At approximately 5:30am on this date in 1963 I was brought into this world, no doubt kicking and screaming. And if you can do the math in your head you already know how old I am. Today I am 46. I pass on the mantle of having my age match speed limit signs to my wife and I move on.

Usually this would not be considered a milestone birthday. It doesn't end with a zero or a five. You can't go to the store and buy "You're 46!" birthday cards. But in many ways this is more of a milestone for me than turning 45 was.

I am closer to 50 than I am to 40. I am now closer to 90 than I am to the day I was born. I am on three maintenance medications, including one for cholesterol and another for blood pressure. Indeed, I should be well on my way to becoming a stately, and dare I say seasoned, middle-age man. In short, Maturity is knocking.

I've been dodging Maturity for a long time. I have acted like I'm 12 most of the time, and have not sat around reading Homer or Shakespeare. I've been more likely to play a video games than read a newspaper. I've had lightsabre fights with my nephews, and enjoyed every one of them. I've had a ball playing laser tag, even though it always showed me how out of shape I was.

Lately, though, I haven't been playing video games so much. My lightsabre broke a couple of years back and I have not replaced it. And recently I actually started reading a book about the origins of civilization.

Now that I'm on the downward slope to 50, maybe it's time to open the door and let Maturity in. Maybe I should put away my Beanie Baby named Gizmo, and get rid of my silly pirate costume. Maybe I should let my mind calcify along with my arteries and become a set-in-my-ways, crotchety old man. Maybe I should.

However, after careful consideration, I have decided that I have this to say to Maturity...


All of that might sound just fine for someone else, but it just doesn't sound like me. So I'm gonna play with the Captain Teague action figure that came with my new copy of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I'm gonna be overjoyed that I also got the 20th anniversary edition of Tron for my birthday. I'm gonna wear my Indiana Jones hat and fantasize about finding lost cities. I'm gonna use "gonna" instead of "going to"! So there!

And now if you'll excuse me, I have a play-date with a friend to play video games on his Xbox 360.

February 20, 2009

Coming Soon...

I know it has been a while since I've posted anything here, so I thought I would give you an update. I have been preparing over the last several weeks to release my novella Borrowed Time as a free, serialized podiobook. Weekly episodes of my reading of this work will soon be available on the web, or can be downloaded to a MP3 player such as a Zune or an iPod.

You can keep abreast of this project at http://www.penslinger.com/. I have a teaser promo posted there now. Give it a listen to hear a taste of what is to come.

I am hoping that episodes of Borrowed Time will start appearing on the website in April. Stay tuned for more updates and remember...

In the race for the future, time has no boundries!