October 14, 2006

Darth Vader vs. Customer Service

This post is is result of me wondering out loud what it would be like for the voice of Darth Vader, James Earl Jones, to have to call a telephone rep for a credit card company.
::Phone rings::
Rep (sounding bored): Thank you for calling CitiStank Credit Card Services. Please read off your 32 digit number from your credit card.

Jones: But I just typed it into your automated system.

Rep: I'm sorry, sir. That was mainly to keep you occupied while you were on hold.

Jones: 5468754456213218...

Rep: I'm sorry, sir, I didn't get that digit.

Jones: Which one?

Rep: Everything after the first 5.

Jones (slowly): 5, 4, 6, 8, 7, 5, 4, 4, 5, 6, 2, 1, 3, 2, 1, 8, 1, 7, 2, 4, 9, 3, 4, 7, 2, 8, 7, 9, 9

Rep: And the eight digit security code on the back of the card?

Jones: 2, 8, 7, 4, 6, 3, 9, 7

Rep: Please state your name for security purposes.

Jones: James Earl Jones

Rep: Wait, you're not THE James Earl Jones?

Jones: ::sighs:: Yes, I am.

Rep: This is so cool. Could you say "Luke, I am your father"? My name is Luke.

Jones: I really rather not.

Rep: Oh, bummer.

Jones: I called because my statement is wrong.

Rep: Oh, OK. What is wrong with it? (whispers: I can't believe I'm talking to Darth Vader!)

Jones: My payment for last month did not get applied.

Rep: Could you say, "People will come, Ray"? You know, like you did in Field of Dreams. My name is Ray.

Jones: I thought you said your name was Luke.

Rep: Er... yeah, well, Ray is my middle name.

Jones: Are you going to help me or not?

Rep: Sure, but can't you say something?

Jones: I find your lack of customer service disturbing.

Rep: ::laughs:: Cool! Do another!

Jones: Soon my dealings with your company will be complete.

Rep: Awsome!

Jones: You have failed me for the last time, Ray. ::click::

Rep: Cool! Thanks, Mr Jones. Now what can I help you with? Mr. Jones?

Rep: Geeze! What was his problem?